LAUGHLIN AIR FORCE BASE, Texas -- Balancing the demands of military service and parenthood presents unique challenges for military families.
According to National Academies of Sciences, Engineering, and Medicine, 50% of active-duty service members are married, and roughly 39% percent have children. Many service members face the challenge of managing military duties while fulfilling their responsibilities as parents.
Capt. Christine Del Aguila, 47th Flying Training Wing public affairs officer, is one such parent who balances her military and family life.
“Being away from a family support network is a big challenge for me,” said Del Aguila. “You just have to adjust work schedules, communicate with your partner and invest in childcare options and contingency plans that you are comfortable with, if needed.”
Setting boundaries by adhering to core office hours has been an effective strategy for managing her work-life balance.
“Now that I’m a parent - that time at home is for my family, and if anything comes up during the workday involving family, I have a job and the understanding from leadership and co-workers in the Air Force that I’ll put my family first,” said Del Aguila. “There are times and place to put either role first. If I ever question what choice to make, I always ask my spouse first for thoughts, and then my co-workers/supervisor.”
Her dual role has also made her a better leader at work.
“As an officer, your primary job should be to take care of your people well, so they can take care of the mission,” said Del Aguila. “Being a parent has influenced the way I approach every situation with empathy and compassion as a leader, knowing that each person I work with was at some point a child born into the world- raised in varying circumstances.”
For Tech. Sgt. Christian Ramos, 47th Force Support Squadron base honor guard manager, balancing parenthood and military service has been shaped by his team and developing useful life skills.
“When I was going through my divorce, many of my fellow Airmen helped me with taking care of my daughter,” said Ramos. “They would run errands for me and sometimes watch her when I needed to handle work-related tasks. Balancing work and parenting was very hard, but the skills I’ve learned at work, such as time management and organization, have helped me manage both my time as an airman and as a parent. One of my strategies is to always set aside dedicated time for my daughter and focus solely on her during that time.”
Military parents also have the possibility of leaving home for extended amounts of time. Whether it be through deployments, temporary duty location (TDYs), or during a permanent change of station (PCS). According to a 2021 Spouses Survey conducted by Military OneSource, 74% of active-duty spouses have experienced their spouses being deployed for more than 30 days.
“Knowing that you are going to miss out on so many things like sports, recitals, and just plain growing up can take a big toll on you,” said Ramos. “Having a strong spouse helps to overcome the challenges, know that the house and your family is being taken care of helps to overcome the challenges that you feel before deploying. Also, being honest with your kids is key when dealing with deployments. Talking to them helps them cope with their feelings and makes preparing for your deployment or TDY easier for everyone. Staying connected is easy these days—using FaceTime, texting, and calling are all ways I keep in touch with my family.”
Even having a plan in place for potentialities can be beneficial to keep family life running smoothly.
“I’ve been fortunate not to have deployed yet, but our plan would involve having family come in town to support my husband if needed,” said Del Aguila. "We’re lucky enough to have grandparents that are retired and willing/can afford traveling to help us out when needed.”
The Child Development Center (CDC) and Youth Center are also available on base to assist with daycare needs of service member parents.
“The Child Development Center on base has been a huge help,” said Del Aguila. “They have the most courteous, professional, and sincerely happy staff, it makes taking my daughter there everyday something I feel comfortable with knowing she’s in great hands and is in an environment she can thrive in. Having her close makes a world of difference in how comfortable I feel while working full time as a mom.”
A similar sentiment was shared by Ramos.
“The CDC and Youth Center are two amazing resources that I believe no [military] parent should live without,” said Ramos. “The programs and activities that they offer keep my family and daughter entertained. Mental health and the Military and Family Readiness Center (M&FRC) are another great resource, having an outlet to release stressors and to clear your mind is what us as parents need to keep sane.”
The Laughlin M&FRC offers a variety of resources for service members and their families.
“We have Military Family Life Counselors (MFLCs) who provide counseling services, as well as educational workshops and classes to address topics such as communication skills, relationship building, maintaining long-distance relationships (during deployment and other separations), marriage preparation, and parenting skills,” said Tech. Sgt. William Johnson, 47th Force Support Squadron noncommissioned officer in charge of readiness. “In addition to Adult MFLCs, we also have MFLCs who work primarily with children and adolescents, who can provide these same services in our center, the CDC and Youth Center, and the schools in the local community.”
The M&FRC offers personal and work/life consultations, connecting families to resources on base, in the community, and virtually. They provide workshops on financial and employment readiness, relocation, and transition assistance.
They collaborate with partners like the Special Supplemental Nutrition Program for Women, Infants, and Children (WIC), Texas Workforce Solutions, and the United Service Organizations (USO). They also support families with additional needs through the Exceptional Family Member Program (EFMP).
“For day to day, life emergencies, the M&FRC can provide resources for emergency financial assistance, Military Family Life Counselors, family advocacy programs, SAPR, Violence Prevention and others,” said Johnson. “In the event that we are faced with a family in emergency, we are equipped to respond with warm handoffs to the appropriate agencies to provide them the immediate support that they need.”
The M&FRC can be contacted at (830) 298-5620.
By providing a support network that includes fellow Airmen, family services, and community programs, Laughlin aims to ensure that its military parents can succeed in both their mission and their family life.